Rumors DC Comics is courting Luca Guadagnino

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Rumor has it that Luca “People, kiss!” Guadagnino is being “talked” by Warner Bros. to direct a movie in the James Gunn DCU. The Insneider is the one spreading that rumor, but we’re more than happy to play along. Seems likely? Not really. Would it be a good idea? Not even remotely. But do we like the idea? Sort of! Not because every director needs to be consumed by the IP monster that currently runs Hollywood, but because it’s time for a deeply sexy comic book movie. The MCU is notoriously sexless, and Guadagnino joining the opposing team would be a major departure. So here are a few queer, sexually charged, or otherwise freaky DC superheroes that could use the Luca touch.

We’ll have to bring them up to the Young Justice era, but bicon Tim Drake never gets his due in Batfam movies. Timmy Chalamet would eat that part. Every iteration of the Teen Titans has had love triangles, and it’s time for an mmf version. Plus, the role of a lifetime for who they get Terra to play.

Or we could do Dick Grayson again. It would be remiss of us to leave out the most hyped superhero on this list. But there are a lot of problematic things in his history that would make this less enjoyable than a Titans/Young Justice movie.

Look, I know we just now Wonder Woman did, but the Gal Gadot films never really acknowledged the character’s fetishistic roots. Bondage! Third parties! Lesbian separatism! It’s all in the text. Less 1984, more Professor Marston and the Wonder Women, we say.

I don’t think the implications of his shapeshifting powers have been fully explored, so to speak.

Original question, Vic Sage, is practically asexual. The only thing that turns him on is conspiracy theories. But his protégé Renee Montoya is a lesbian, an ex-cop, and looks cool in a suit.

Make it canon, cowards.